So I moved to London on Monday, without even a clue of where I was living, but the apartment was rented. Fortune stuck Sebben again when I discovered that I am living "literally" down town, or at least extremely close. I am living close to City where you can find the Financial District. One of the clues to that is that every time I walk outside 98% of all the people I see are in suits. A good clue indeed.
The first few days have been quite entertaining. Since my inauguration at Cass Business School does not start until Friday (tomorrow), I have had some time on my hands.
- So what have you done Mr. Sebben? I hear that you are asking.
- Well let me tell you what adventures I have been on, you wondering person you... .
Amongst getting an internet connection, going to the doctor and shopping for food and vitamin pills. I have walked and walked some more. I have discovered what this city represents. And I can honestly say that it is dirty, chaotic and filled with too many Starbucks. However on the positive side I need to state the obvious fact. I LOVE IT (except the Starbucks, for the reason that they do not have free WIFI and are overpriced).
Observations are observations and they need to be dotted down for all of you to learn.
- There is no peace to be found in London. At every street corner there is a person forcing to take a newspaper. Great if you love to read semi-serious news, but it sucks to be offered the same shit over and over again. The biggest benefit of free news papers is that bums have something to stick in their clothes to get warm...
- After being a victim to the right hand driving for a few days I have realized how programmed my head is to left hand driving. This is in reference with regards to crossing a side walk. I always look the wrong way. I am programmed to think opposite of the British, and thus I am in the need for some serious reprogramming. The reason for this is that my ability to look the "wrong" way can easily lead to my fatality. Half the time I have no idea where the cars are coming from. However I reckon that in a month or so I will be a champion at crossing side walks.
- The suits and suitettes (women in suits) are all alcoholics. When the clock strikes 17.00, the office computer is shut off, and the doors at the office are shut solid, they all go to the pub to drink. Not just a glass but several.. I reckon that it must be extremely social and to some extent promiscuous. Good for them I say. Do what you gotta do to kill your stress from all that number crunching.
- London in the day time is NOT bringing sexy back (at night, maybe, I have no clue). There are 97% ugly people here. Guys and girls, men and women, and they are NOT well groomed. YUCK!!! This is a city that clearly lacks the Scandinavian Blessing (which is sexy and glorious people all around). Teeth is their biggest problem. Horse teeth all around and clothes bought at a out of style flee market. But I will not judge. I cannot blame these people for not being blessed with the same sex appeal that I have or the seriously good looking looks and clothes. I am Sebben, my middle name is sexy.
- London the melting pot of Europe GALORE! We, they, us, everybody is here. It is a glorious thing. The only annoying part is that too many people ask you where you are from. I hold a odd surname that does not fit my Norwegian face, so every time I say that I am Norwegian I shock people. It is fun...
- London is big, it looks like a lot of fun. Now it just needs to be Conquered by Sebben & Sebben. The other Sebben is expected to arrive next week and then we will start to take over. I will take over Cass Business School and he will take over City University.
Remember: Sebben & Sebben will be one of the most successful firms in the country. But Sebben & Sebben is so much more. More potent and powerful... and frightening.
Set your sights on that thing. We have... you should too...
For your information: The affiliated companies of Sebben & Sebben - leaders in industry worldwide: Rice. Soy. Hemp. Flavoured breast milk. LSD. Breast milk-flavoured LSD. Those twirly things on strippers' breasts. Textiles. Tiles. Text. Baltimization. Vintage pointed sticks.
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